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Embarrassing Example #1
The scooter being sold in this web example may actually be a great bargain
but
the improper use of the English language results in
awkward phrasing and a loss of credibility with potential customers
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What's wrong?
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“Flowing and concise” make for an awkward combination
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¤The use of the word “somatic” does not fit with scooter sales
nSomatic
means:
of the body; bodily; physical …
pertaining to the body wall of an animal …
pertaining to or affecting the somatic cells, as distinguished from
the germ cells [not a thought
that sells scooters!]
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¤“comfort” is good when selling a scooter unfortunately
“comfortableness” is a very awkward way to express comfort
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¤“concise not simple” says conflict when harmony is desired
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¨
¨Let
MarketSavers
review your materials and you will avoid this type of market
embarrassment and enjoy increased sales
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Loss of
Credibility
Example #2
This product description might
entertain your prospects but it will have them looking
to do business elsewhere as the language errors cause loss of credibility
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| | What's wrong?
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¤The use of the word “flocking” does not bring credibility
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nMany
readers may first think of a slang, curse word with a similar spelling
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nAnd
then they might think of “flock”
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nFlock
means:
a number of animals of one kind, especially sheep, goats, or
birds, that keep or feed together or are found “flocking” together
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¤“defferent size” is simply incorrect as it should read “different
sizes”
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¤“to choose” should be “to choose from” and “a lot” should not be used |
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¨
Let MarketSavers help
you avoid the loss of credibility by making sure your marketing
materials properly use the English language
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Loss of
Credibility
Example #3
From an Internet
“About Us” page;
this opportunity
to
clearly describe
who they are and
what they do is
sadly missed the mark
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What's wrong?
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¤¤“optimized
system reform” will mean nothing to the typical prospect
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¤“No.
730 Factory’s B mode” does not speak to the prospect
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¤Better
to say:
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nWe
are a high-technology company focused on the R&D, production, and sales
of ultrasound scanners
such as the state-owned No. 730 Factory B system.
We also develop new communication technologies to best meet our
customers’ needs. |
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¨
MarketSavers will help you capture all your opportunities
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